Learn to Say No
You have to learn to say NO! One of the biggest things I learned about time management, about using my time wisely, and about not letting other people waste my time is that you have to learn to say no. This applies to resources as well. If you want to preserve your resources, you have to learn to say no.
To Learn To Say No is Difficult
Some people struggle with this because learning to say no is difficult. Saying no can be very hard sometimes because you want people to like you, you want to do what you feel is right, and you want to be a help to people.
However, unfortunately a lot of times you end up not getting your projects finished, having people take advantage of you, and having people use you and abuse your kindness. They take your kindness for weakness and just show no appreciation and never reciprocate.
I totally get it but the best way to learn to say no is by honestly just thinking about what happens when you say yes. A lot of people are so worried about what happens when they say no. They are like
“oh man if I say no is she still going to like me.
If I say no is he still going to like me.
If I say no will my mom be unhappy.
If I say no will my brother be unhappy.
If I say no what they lose their house.
If I say no will he lose his job. “
You are giving people rides to work everyday. You are paying mortgage payments. You are bailing people out of jail. You are paying payday loans. I mean you doing all kind of stuff just trying to make other people's life better. It may not even be something as big as paying a payday loan or bailing them out of jail. It may just be something like staying late for work but you really don't feel like it or you have other things to do. It might be something like covering a shift for somebody when you really don't feel like it and you've got other stuff to do.
The Key to Learning to Say No
The key to learn to say no is to ask yourself what happens if I say yes. If I say yes to this, does this mean that me and this person are going to be friends for the rest of our lives.
Does this mean that I've rescued this person from all of their problems. Does this mean that this person's life is going to be on track forever now. No you know that's not going to happen, right.
You know most the time they're going to be asking you for a ride next week or tomorrow. You know good and well they're going to be asking you for money next week or tomorrow or next month. You know if you stay late this week your boss going to ask you to stay late next week.
So, if you think about it that way, you have to understand at some point you're going to have to learn to say no anyway. Is it better to say no before you wear yourself out, before you spend all your money, or to do it once you become so invested in having that person feel whatever way you wanted him to feel that it becomes even harder to say no?
Now, it's harder because you've already spent three weekends in a row and you want to get some type of credit for the time you stayed late. Now, it's harder because you've already paid their house payment two or three times and you feel like, "well if I say no now that was all in vain because they hate my guts anyway or they lost their house anyway."
If you just think about it this way, “If I say yes that's probably not going to change their situation. So I'm going to say no so I don't change my own situation.” I could be in a better situation by just taking the time to learn to say no. Now I can manage my time, money, and resources a lot better. You have to learn to say no.
Chazz Ellis': 10 Steps to Rebuilding your Self-Confidence
The concept of self esteem is that it is actually a misnomer. It makes you to think that what you feel about yourself is totally based on what is going on inside of you as if you completely control how you think about you.
If you want to recover your self esteem you need to get the right mindset. You have to make some mental changes before you can start actually changing your self-esteem.
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10 Steps to Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence
Comments 20
First
Good topic. I had someone who always wanted a ride to somewhere. It got to the point where I was neglecting my home life and eventually I had to say no I can’t come to pick this person up. This person could walk take the bus or save money to get a car but no they want to take the easy way out an ask for a ride. I don’t mind helping but it became a daily thing but I wouldn’t get compensated in return
And instead of asking, this person would say tomorrow I need to do this and i know that’s code for me to pick this person up. Didn’t even ask me if I could. I began to think he saw me as a pushover. When u feel used u know something isn’t right. So like I mentioned I had to cut that off and if I do give him a ride it’ll be on my terms not his
"No" is a complete sentence.
So right.JUST SAY NO..It is being good to yourself so you can be good for others
I needed to hear this so bad!
The word "no" is not the beginning of a negotiation. "No" means no.
Act like you don't have it. I have a friend and she was warned not to move a man in her house by her parents. Two kids later, she is struggling. Look, I agreed with your parents. Now, you want people to help you out, when you did not want to listen. The answer is no. I have my own bills to pay.
Exactly! Sometimes we gotta learn to say “NO” even is so damn hard to say it.. And when we SAY it, then we need to SHOW it! 👏🖤
Looking good Mr.
Boundaries are very important. I believe they should be shown and stated in the beginning so everyone involved knows what’s up
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You crack me up! Love your videos
Will you ever get a podcast 🙌
Just came to this video.. because I do have a hard time saying NO.. starting today when I feel like saying NO.. It’s gonna be a NO!!
When you say YES, When you really wanted to say NO.. that leads to resentments👌🏾
Bitch please.
Good video! Thank you!
What would you say to the person that asks why I said no, what else do I have going on?
I agree. As a people pleaser it helps to realize that people know when they are pushing a boundary. Saying yes doesn't make them like you or even make you look good. It makes them lose respect for you and they continue a taking advantage of you. I found myself saying yes because I didn't have the courage to say no and then failing to follow through. I realized that this was actually worse than if I just said no in the first place.